Eleanor's birthday was the scariest and one of the best days of my life! I tried my best to not think of giving birth throughout my pregnancy. It may be beautiful but it is also terrifying and nauseating. I have been afraid of childbirth my entire life (one reason I do not want more children).
The day before her birth I got my hair braided and I felt so empowered by that. I felt like I could do it and felt like it would go much faster than the last time and that made me feel better. I just wanted it to be finished and know that she was healthy and we were both ok.
I had a scheduled induction at 40 weeks and 5 days. It would have been wonderful to feel contractions naturally but I was impatient to meet our baby. I had everything ready a week prior and every day felt very long during the last couple weeks. I am lucky to have had a healthy pregnancy and work throughout but those last days were rough!
This birth story is pretty typical but it was special to me :) I called the hospital (Norton Women's & Children's Hospital) at 5am and got the ok to come in at 7am. I stayed awake (who can sleep after you know exactly when you will start labor?), I took a shower, ate some eggs and toast and kissed Zara while she was still sleeping. I am so glad she was asleep because we all would have been crying with that goodbye. My nieces watched her all day and I am so thankful for them!
Jonas and I drove to the hospital and checked in. We were shown to the room where it would happen and my anxiety started to rise. I had to take off my comfy clothes and put on a gown that automatically made me feel so vulnerable. We waited longer than I liked to get the pitocin going- it wasn't really that long (maybe an hour and a half) but I was ready to start. Around the time I had my IV going my sisters/ best friends came to support me. They were present for Zara's birth and it was the best. I am so glad they were there again!!
The wait for Eleanor was very, very cold for all of us. The room we were in was like an igloo. We all needed blankets and sweaters. We watched trashy television. Time went by quickly for me- especially when the contractions became stronger. My first nurse thought I was a wimp but I thought they hurt and I didn't want to wait hours like I did with Zara. Also, when my doctor came in to check my progress and break my water I was incredibly uncomfortable. It hurt and there was no way I could relax after I saw the stick (it probably has a name?) she would use to break my water. I am glad I could choose to have an epidural- I needed it with my anxiety issues surrounding childbirth. It made me feel a ease. My sister called it when she said I should go ahead and get the epidural around 12:30 pm. I told her I could wait but Jonas pushed the button for the nurse and shortly after they came in to relieve my pain! Getting an epidural is also scary and the sensation in your back is bizarre! The nurse helped me and she joked with me throughout the process. I really love the staff at Norton. The nurses are easy to talk to and I felt well cared for with both of my daughters. The pain eased within 30 minutes and it was nice (even though I had to have a catheter- blah.)
My sister guessed I would have her by 6:30 and the nurse thought that was late. But time went on and on. At some point my doctor successfully broke my water since I wasn't desperately trying to close my legs the first time. Every time I was checked there was progress but when I was 8cm the nurse turned off the Pitocin for a while and my progress stopped. It put me behind a couple hours according to my doctor. It also took a while for the last bit of my cervix to get out of the way for Eleanor. The main issue I had with waiting was that it made my anxiety level go up for a longer time period.
When I was really close, I felt so weak and VERY nauseous. I cannot believe I didn't vomit but I tried hard not to because it would have been all water and jell-o, ew. I told the nurse I felt like I would pass out but she wasn't phased. They deliver hundreds of babies every month. I don't remember when I started pushing- maybe 8:45pm. It all started to happen really fast even though I pushed for over an hour. I told the nurse how scared I was and that I am sorry if it is awkward but closing my eyes was the only thing I could do to cope. I closed my eyes the whole time! We all still talked and joked around as I pushed. Catherine talked about the worst baby names and that helped too. I am so glad I couldn't feel anything - I would have been more freaked out than I already was. The only thing I felt was Eleanor's head coming down and I felt a little sensation as she came out. They laid her on my lap and it was amazing, surreal, everything. There is nothing like a child entering this world. I was so happy to see her laying there.
She was born at 10:06pm. 8 pounds, .04 ounces. 19 inches.
When I held Zara for the first time she looked so tired and just had her head on my chest. Eleanor was ready to eat, she
started rooting immediately and I fed her a little!
She looked just like Jonas and a lot like Zara as a newborn.
While I held her and she met Jonas, Brooke and Catherine I got to see the placenta- so cool that it was a part of me! I talked to Zara a little- she wanted me to come home. I had been dreading the time in the hospital because I would be away from her. It is the longest time we have been away from each other. I also got stitched up- another thing I am glad I could not feel. My tear was about the same as with Zara- maybe a little less. I had a 2nd degree tear with her.
After everything was cleaned up and I was moved to a recovery room, Jonas got a grilled cheese and onion rings for me- so freaking good.
It was a weird night- time went by quickly. Nurses checked on me and Eleanor frequently, I fed her and held her but tried not to sleep so that she would be safe. I watched Stranger than Fiction in the fog of giving birth. I was so tired but didn't want her to go to the nursery because I feared she would cry too long or someone would feed her formula and it would interfere with nursing. At some point I felt my legs again and was able to have the catheter removed and use the bathroom by myself. So the road to recovery begins & happily, my life with two daughters!!
This hurt so bad every time I had to move my arm! ::
