fancy, but not too fancy.

We hang out on our porch a lot these days. Zara said we should dress up "fancy, but not too fancy." while we played there last night. She wore a dress over her clothes and picked one out for Eleanor so that she could do the same. Our family watching a sunset from the safety of our home feels so strange amid the chaos and pain in the world right now...

Eleanor at 9 Months!

I have an obsession with my baby girl. I love her bald head, her two teeth smile & the way she scrunches her nose. She can keep you entertained for hours with her laugh & her facial expressions. I am super sad that she is already 9 months old, there is just something about them being out in the real world for about the same amount of time you carry them. Heaven help me when she is a year old!

So many different faces. I take so many photos & still cannot capture them all...

• Eleanor can stand so well & cruise around furniture. 
• Usually she is babbling "ma ma ma maaaaaa". I think his means "food", "mama", "I want that", "fix whatever is wrong". She also clicks.
• LOVES to lay with me. It calms her down fast & it is super sweet.
• As long as I am sitting with E, she will play on her own for a long time. She loves to tinker with musical instruments, blocks, Zara's dolls, anything & everything!
• She gets very eager to eat while we are cooking. By the time there is a finished plate, she expects her share! E loves potatoes, watermelon, strawberries, bananas, crust, rice, baby food pouches and ICE CREAM.
• She gets so mad when she drops something and it doesn't reappear immediately. 
• The paci definitely comforts her when she is restless.
• She loves to feed me or give me her toys. I love when babies share & feel so proud.
• E hates the car & the car seat. Does not like to be restrained.
• She wears 6-12 month clothing & size 4 diapers.
• I am still able to only give Eleanor breast milk but this is mostly because I had a lot of frozen milk. It is running out fast since my period started again. 
• E still wakes up at least once per night to eat but still gets in a lot of hours (10pm-7:30/8am). She naps a few times per day (maybe one 1.5 hour nap and several 30 minute naps).
• The sister thing is still hard for Zara. So is being stuck inside. It has been a lot. Let me tell you, there are some moments.
• E is 18lbs, 2.5 oz. (46th percentile). I am not sure what her height is- they had to remeasure and it was not on my print out. 

A favorite toy::

Happy 9 Months Eleanor! I hope we always smile at each other when our eyes lock. I love you!

Zara usually joins us for Eleanor's monthly update photos. Usually dancing and acting silly :)

Life with Covid-19 (Week 9).

I took my girls with me to get my car cleaned. It didn't take long but it was the first time they have gone inside a place with me in months. The wonderful flavors of summer have begun & we have been eating outside as much as possible. I am trying my best to get out and jog (& take at least one of the little ones with me), we have been using the sprinkler and our inflatable pools almost every day & enjoying the warm air. This week was better...

The first of many weekends spent in the backyard this summer?

If we weren't in the upside down I probably would have gone to the zoo or a day trip to a different city this weekend. But that's okay, it was still a great weekend. We spent it sleeping in, cuddling, getting takeout, playing in the backyard, enjoying the sunshine, a trip to Trader Joe's (just me and Z), we made s'mores over the fire pit, Zara also danced around the fire with her marshmallows & it was hilarious, we watched a summer storm from the porch, Zara played with the neighbors, we went on walks and watched some movies. 

If I have to be forced to stay home, I guess this wasn't so bad :)

Jonas' 34th Birthday & his 1st Pandemic Birthday!

We celebrated Jonas at home because no one would appreciate our entire family at a restaurant right now. 

I picked up the yummiest cake that was brought to my car window by a masked baker.

We had takeout from Dragon King's Daughter. We enjoyed it in the backyard and listened to The Beatles.

Zara picked out the decorations (including stickers on the wall), the tiniest hats and she made Jonas some cards.

We tried to fit all the candles on the cake but it took too long to light them all, haha. 

We love you Jonas/ Daddy! Happy Birthday! 

Life with Covid-19 (Week 8).

I keep reading that we have entered something similar to the Third Quarter Phenomenon. We have left the panic/ confusion stage & the honeymoon stage. So this is what is next. It is often experienced by people in submarines or space stations in the third quarter of their mission. Like them, people are more anxious and depressed during this time. They are definitely meaner. No more kumbaya. I have felt personally depressed at this point & the lack of kindness around me is not helping. I also have extra special postpartum emotions thrown in too & it really sucks. 

I wish everyone well as we begin to reopen. Be patient with yourself and with others. We are all on the verge of tears. 

Just be nice. 

Life with Covid-19 (Week 7).

The random warm days, my cute kids & the new season of Workin' Moms is all that is keeping me sane right now. 

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I don't know.

I have had enough.

Mother's Day always brings out all the things.

Mother's Day can be complicated. It can keep you up at night thinking of things that hurt. It can instigate long chains of texts full of understanding with the only ones who know. It can fill you with fear when you imagine that those little hearts you created will one day stop beating. It can bring tidal waves of compassion for the ones who wish to mother. You can think of the million ways you will fail when it's Mother's Day. If you are lucky, you suck it up and accept the gifts & the breakfast. You sweep away the pain & enjoy the laughs and smiles you can bring to your babies. You stop thinking about the future and hard things. Those aren't here today. It is not a day to suffer if you don't have to.

Life with Covid-19 (Week 6).

This week has been a little rough. Zara has had it with staying inside. Her behavior has been quite trying but I know she is going through a stressful time. We take her outside as much as possible but this week the weather has been cold and rainy. I guess it matched this hard time and this melancholy feeling that I cannot seem to shake. 

Surely warmer and better days are coming. We went through some kind of time warp that has brought us into the month of May. Kentucky will start opening up soon but there is no end to my child care stress. 

Everything is going to be alright (right?) but it is going to take a while.