spooky season.

We love to celebrate Halloween! We kept up our usual traditions- they were great. We decorated the house with bats and pumpkins and a little ghost friend. One afternoon Zara and I ordered a pumpkin pizza from Papa Johns.

We did the Paw Patrol trick-or-treat at Target- it was perfect this year since Zara was Skye. We enjoyed the Fall Festival at church with all the chili. There was a haunted house at church this year and Zara asks me to talk about it several times a day. I have to describe the creepy doorbell eye, the black walls and how "ghosts" tried to grab her. She is obsessed with it- thankfully not terrified. 

My sister and her kids always trick-or-treat at the zoo with us. We went on the last night & last session with no crowds- the best! My favorite moment was Zara trying to get extra candy at one of the stops and being ignored but she kept holding her bag and standing in front of the guy until she got an extra candy (to be fair a lot of the stops were giving her extra candy. Especially when she ran so fast down a hill she crash landed in front of one.)

Jonas carved some Lion King themed pumpkins. Zara wanted to use her baby costume for her school's fall festival. This has got to be the last year she can wear it.

Halloween night was amazing. I took the girls by myself right after work & as soon as we could get their costumes on. The weather was chilly and the wind was blowing the leaves in a way that really suited trick-or-treating. We were also at the best spot in town- Hillcrest Ave. Zara's excitement was contagious and fun. The decorations made us both so happy- I could not stop taking photos. We had a wonderful time talking to people and collecting candy!

Zara didn't participate but I watched The Haunting of Hill House, it is so scary and good. & I combed through the Target clearance sections for next year :) Spooookkyyy Halloween everyone!

maternity leave.

Both of my maternity leaves were some kind of mental reset. They are marks of time in my life that changed everything. This one was difficult and lovely and quite different from my time with Zara.  Surely I had experience to help with caring for a newborn but nothing in my toolkit to handle two children (besides meal delivery and lots of organization)! We made it through but not without some tears..from everyone in our family. & I had a contrast of emotion every single day. Peace & dread. Calm & anxiety. Joy & annoyance. A roller coaster. I tried to take Zara out to do something each day- the park, lunch, appointments, stopping by work, visiting family, making crafts, Target, the library, swim lessons, the zoo, chick-fil-a, the trampoline park, Trader Joe's. It was exhausting to juggle Zara with making milk and healing. It was hard but it was so special and I wish I could do it all over again. and again. I imagine what it will feel like to be older or dying and remember this time with them, I cannot imagine how badly I will want to come back to these moments and these sweet children.

I'll try to remember the slowness and sacredness. & the hot weather that lasted well into October. A weird everlasting summer. It was a great two months.

 I will never forget the pain of going to the last appointment with my doctor- it meant that it was all over: my pregnancy and birth and the follow-up appointments. I am sure a third child would be too much for me so this is the end of that chapter. Another painful moment: walking out of Zara's last swim lesson because it meant I would be going back to work in a few days.

There are things I am excited to have- like a routine- but it hurts so much for this time to be over! These kids of mine just remind me that it all happens way too fast.

* The last two photos are from the day we went to work/ daycare & school. I had so much stuff packed! Zara was really happy and had a very easy transition :)

I am thankful for the trustworthy & wonderful people who take care of my girls !

E's second month.

Sweet little Eleanor is two months young ! It was a wonderful month with her but it was tough preparing to go back to work. So. Many. Tears. I will always treasure the time I had her 24/7.

E loves when you sing to her, it can earn you a smile or just a cute little baby giving you her attention. Zara and I sing songs from The Little Mermaid to her & make up so many with her name.

I still sleep with Eleanor- it calms both of us and makes nursing easier for me. Through the night she eats at midnight, 4am & 7am. Hours vary, ha. I only pump once a day in the morning (& get 5oz!) and feed her on demand the rest of the time.

E always wants to be held around 9:30pm. You can't sit and hold her though- thankfully Jonas usually stands with her for about an hour until she sleeps around 10:30. It is a brutal hour- she is pretty restless and refuses to nurse.

She has really bad acne/ dry skin on her head and face for a while but eczema lotion cleared it right up.

We got to see our first "real" smiles and they are the best thing in the whole world.

She is more aware every day and will turn her head to follow/ watch you if she is laying down. She can also turn herself very easily is she is not completely flat (I learned the hard way because she fell but is just fine!)

She is still in size 2 diapers & she is really filling out her 0-3 month clothes! She is 10 pounds, 3.7 ounces (30th) percentile. Her height is 22.84 inches (77th percentile).