half a year.

It has been six months since I gave birth to Eleanor. This second postpartum journey is far more difficult than the first. With Zara I had more energy, more time to focus on her and even a little time to make sure I was okay. Not that it wasn't hard to recover and begin a whole new life but there are new challenges that I did not expect. Having two little ones to care or has been tough- there is just a lot more going on in my life. & while I had postpartum anxiety with both girls, this time it is different and more intense. I am not out of the woods yet.
I want to exercise, have energy, fit into my clothes, see an end to horrendous back pain, gain the mental strength to be the mother I long to be & implement the things I have learned in books and articles but right now I just try to survive the exhausting days.
Of course, I will miss the mundane things that make the days so hard now: nursing/ pumping, organizing bottles for daycare, baby cries through the night, cuddling with both girls when they wake up, lifting car seats, changing diapers. I know one day I will trade it in for the worry of my two girls being out in the world without me. Goodness, this parenting thing.

I am sure every mom can relate to these::